


Captain America's Christian Minecraft Server

by 64moolane



Category: Captain America (Movies), Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bad Puns, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Domestic Avengers, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Humor, I'm Sorry, Multi, Peter Parker & Shuri Friendship, Precious Peter Parker, groupchat, steve rogers is a mom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2019-11-17 17:16:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18102935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/64moolane/pseuds/64moolane
Summary: "Ice Cold: skjdskjdskjdsMemelord420: wtf?Memelord420: Did Steve speak meme this whole time?BlackWidowBaby: No, I can confirm that he just smashed his forehead into his phone"Basically this is vine refrencing, meme filled crackathon with all your favourite charaters shoved into the same groupchat(Endgame doesn’t exist her because just I can’t)





	1. The MARVELous creation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Shuri makes a groupchat, Steve smashes his forehead and Clint gets a new child

Memelord420 has added LittleMissMuffet, Scarletbitch, Tony Snark, Ice Cold, BlackWidowBaby, Birdyboi, ripoff Birdyboi, Snap Crakle and SMASH, ILoveUJesus, Mr Mucle Man, the MARVELous Ms Masiel, An Adult Man and 2020 to The Avengers

3:14AM

Memelord420: Yo

LittleMissMuffet: Can I pls change my name?

Memelord420: no

LittleMissMuffet: Shuri u fucking suck

Ice Cold: Language

Memelord420: boo hoo bitch

Ice Cold: LANGUAGE!

Furry: Sister, what is this?

Furry: Also what is a furry?

Furry: I feel that it must be a bad thing if you chose it

Memelord420: I offended

Memelord420: And this, dear brother it the mighty AVENGER GROUPCHAT

Scarletbitch: Yeet

LittleMissMuffet: This seems like a bad idea...

Tony Snark: I have to agree with Pete here

Mr Mucle Man: Friend Tony, I have to disagree

Mr Mucle Man: I think this is a fine idea from Princess Shuri

Mr Mucle Man: I also quite enjoy my name

LittleMissMuffet: Of course you do MR MUCLE MAN

LittleMissMuffet: TRY BEING A FUCKING NURSERY RHYME!!!

Memelord420: Wow pete, agressive

BlackWidowBaby: Steve doesn't like that sort of talk

Ice Cold: Romanoff...

BlackWidowBaby: u no u love me

2020: I also enjoy my name

2020: A fun pun on vision

Scarletbitch: We stan

Birdyboi: Wanda ur 20

Birdyboi: U have to stop using slang

Scarletbitch: OMG Dad LET ME LIVE

Birdyboi: Wait

Scarletbitch: No, no, no I take that back

Birdyboi: U can't

Birdyboi: I'M A DAD!

BlackWidowBaby: Clint u already have 3 kids

Birdyboi: I'M A DAD AGAIN!

Scarletbitch: I didn't mean it

Scarletbitch: Fucking autocorrect

Scarletbitch: *Damb autocorrect

Scarletbitch: Sorry Steve xx

Memelord420: Sure Jan

Scarletbitch: I honestly feel so attacked rn

Birdyboi: Stop attacking my child

Scarletbitch: Ur never going to let this go, are u

Birdyboi: Nope :)

BlackWidowBaby: If it helps, he's stupidly happy rn

Scarletbitch: I feel nothing but rath rn

LittleMissMuffet: big mood

Memelord420: This is the reason that we need an avengers gc

LittleMissMuffet: I take it back

LittleMissMuffet: This is the best idea u ever had

Memelord420: UR WELCOME

Tony Snark: Sorry to break this moment, but Shuri it's 3:25 over here

Memelord420: So?

Tony Snark: Why now?

Memelord420: MOTHER'S MAKING ME TAKE LESSON IN DECORUM OK! I SO BORED THAT IF I DON'T DO SOMETHING SOON I'M GOING TO STAB MY EYES OUT!

LittleMissMuffet: mood

Memelord420: Oh stfu pete

Scarletbitch: ?

LittleMissMuffet: ??

Memelord420: ???

LittleMissMuffet: We found a loophole my dudes

Scarletbitch: HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND ACRONYMS

Memelord420: My tongue can be free!

Ice Cold: Who doesn't know what?

LittleMissMuffet: It's ok Cap

Memelord420: Don't worry about it

Tony Snark: Back to the subject

Tony Snark: WHY IS SPIDEY AWAKE AT 3:27?! 

Scarletbitch: Why are u awake at 3:26?

Memelord420: Shots fired

Birdyboi: That's my kid!

2020: Mr. Stark I believe as the kids might say, you have been burnt

LittleMissMuffet: Why is Vision so cute

Memelord420: uwu

LittleMissMuffet: u furry

Furry: Sister, again, what is a furry?

Memelord420: OMG brother, just LOOK IT UP

Furry: FINE

Tony Snark: sleep is for the weak

LittleMissMuffet: are u saying I'm weak?

BlackWidowBaby: Oh Tony

BlackWidowBaby: Ur backed against a wall now

Mr Mucle Man: Friend Tony, Mr Parker is an exceptionally strong individual

Tony Snark: I mean he's 16 for fuck sake

Ice Cold: Honestly, why do I bother

BlackWidowBaby: Nobody knows Steve. Nobady knows

Birdyboi: Ouch Nat

Scarletbitch: fucking rekt

Ice Cold: skjdskjdskjds

Memelord420: wtf?

Memelord420: Did Steve speak meme this whole time?

BlackWidowBaby: No, I can confirm that he just smashed his forehead into his phone

LittleMissMuffet: oof

Tony Snark: Nat, where are u in the middle of the night with Katniss and Cap?

BlackWidowBaby: Planning ur demise

Tony Snark: What?

BlackWidowBaby: jk jk

BlackWidowBaby: That's only me and Clint

Tony Snark: I reiterate wtf

BlackWidowBaby: We're just training

BlackWidowBaby: Well at least I am

BlackWidowBaby: Clint's calling Laura to ask to adopt Wanda

Scarletbitch: Why me?

LittleMissMuffet: U did this to yourself

BlackWidowBaby: And Steve is really upset he broke his phone

Tony Snark: With his forehead?

BlackWidowBaby: He's very thick skulled, our Stevie

Tony Snark: Just tell him I'll get him a new one

BlackWidowBaby: I did

BlackWidowBaby: He's still really upset

BlackWidowBaby: Did u know he named his phone?

Memelord420: We stan

LittleMissMuffet: What's its name?

Scarletbitch: Alexander Hamilton?

BlackWidowBaby: Jon

Scarletbitch: :(

Birdyboi: Nat why did u upset my child

Scarletbitch: CLiNt StOp RiGhT nOw

Birdyboi: NeVeR

Furry: Shuri.

Furry: Shuri.

Furry: Shuri.

Furry: I looked up 'what is a furry'

Furry: I appaled

Furry: I'm sad

Furry: I'm mad

Furry: But now I'm sorry

Memelord420: ?

Furry: I might have told Mother you were on your phone during lessons and she's coming to kill you now?

Memelord420: EX-FUCKING-SCUSE ME?!

Furry: Well I think that was the kind of language she was talking about

Memelord420: T'cAlLa

Furry: I am sorry sister

Memelord420: I'm going to kill u

Furry: You can't kill me

Furry: I'm King

Memelord420: Fucking try me

Memelord420: Shit Mother's here

LittleMissMuffet: Shuri?

Scarletbitch: Shuri??

Furry: Shuri???

LittleMissMuffet: SHURI!?!?

Scarletbitch: R.I.P Shuri

LittleMissMuffet: Press F to pay respect

LittleMissMuffet: F

Scarletbitch: F

Tony Snark: F

Birdyboi: F

BlackWidowBaby: F

BlackWidowBaby: Also an F for Steve

Furry: F

Mr Mucle Man: F

2020: I believe this is a reference to a video game in which you would press F to mark a death

Scarletbitch: Just say it

2020: F

Ripoff Birdyboi: Hey guys!

Ripoff Birdyboi: What is this?

Ripoff Birdyboi: WHO GAVE ME THIS NAME?!?!


	2. Go Die In A Hole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you all so much for all your kind comments and kudos! The amount of love my stupid avengers story got from all of you is ridicolus! And secondly for those who are asking, I'll be adding the guardians really soon (if not next chapter, chapter 4) so look forward to that! Lastly any charaters you want added/any pairings you want to see/any storyline you want implemented just leave a comment below and I'll do my best to add it. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

**10:26 AM**

**Avengers Groupchat**

Snap, Crackle and SMASH: Hey guys! What's this for?

LittleMissMuffet: Hey

Scarletbitch: sup

Tony Snark: Princess made a gc for some reason

Snap, Crackle and SMASH: cool cool

Memelord420: Yo

LittleMissMuffet: Shuri!

LittleMissMuffet: We thought u died

Scarletbitch: Well she was always gonna come back like a boomerang

Birdyboi: Wanda, I love you and respect you but you have to stop

Scarletbitch: make me

Furry: I thought Mother took your phone

Memelord420: She did

Memelord420: She also sent me to my room and took my lab key

LittleMissMuffet: So how are u online?

Memelord420: She sent me to MY ROOM

Memelord420: I HAVE ALL THE TECHNOLOGY IN MY ROOM

Memelord420: MWAHAHAHA

Scarletbitch: what an evil queen

Snap, Crackle and SMASH: we stan 

LittleMissMuffet: Wait

LittleMissMuffet: do u speak meme?

Snap, Crackle amd SMASH: yeet

Tony Snark: Fuck there's more of them

Ice Cold: Tony...

Tony Snark: Who the fuck bought capsicle a new phone

BlackWidowBaby: u did

Tony Snark: oh yeah

Ice Cold: You do realise I'm still here, right?

BlackWidowBaby: We do

Birdyboi: ouch my heart

BlackWidowBaby: ?

Birdyboi: That was on Steve's behalf

Scarletbitch: oh so ur allowed to meme but i'm not?

Birdyboi: Yes I am

Birdyboi: Respect ur father

Scarletbitch: StOp

Ice Cold: Tony, there are children in this conversation.

Tony Snark: THEY CURSE WAY MORE THAN US

Memelord420: The kids are already corrupted

LittleMissMuffet: Truth

Scarletbitch: preach

Ice Cold: Can I ask you a question Wanda?

Scarletbitch: shoot

Ice Cold: Why do you just ignore grammer?

Scarletbitch: say wut

Ice Cold: What do you have against capitilisation? All your texts are in lowercase.

Memelord420: ew grammer

LittleMissMuffet: WE DO NOT SPEAK OF THE DEVIL

Scarletbitch: why do u use proper grammer on a gc grandpa?

Ice Cold: I'm offended

Memelord420: WHY DO U KEEP MAKING ME THINK U NO MEMES CAP WHY!

Memelord420: I'm depressed now

Memelord420: thanks CAPTAIN AMERICA

Furry: I have no idea what you did to my sister but you need to apoligise to her

Ice Cold: I am very sorry for whatever I did to offend you Princess

Memelord420: Your lucky I'm a forgiving queen

 Ripoff Birdyboi: hey is memelord420 Priencess Shuri?

Memelord420: The one and only

Ripoff Birdyboi: Lovely to meet u and all, but since u created the gc, is there any chance u can change my name?

Birdyboi: Aww come on, I think it suits u

Ripoff Birdyboi: Clint you...

Tony Snark: Remember u can't curse here

BlackWidowBaby: Always remember Mom is watching, waiting for u to mess up...

Tony Snark: In case u didn't get that she's talking about u Steve

Ice Cold: Hey!

Ice Cold: I got that the first time!

BlackWidowBaby: Steve u do know there are numbers on a keybord right?

Ice Cold: ?

Ripoff Birdyboi: Clint go die in a hole

Ice Cold: Not very nice, but I'll accept it.

Ripoff Birdyboi: Can u change my name?

Ripoff Birdyboi: Please?

LittleMissMuffet: If ur changing his can u change mine?

Memelord420: That would be a nope and a NOPE

LittleMissMuffet: Shuri whyyy

Memelord420: All my names are wonderful

Scarletbitch: I yeet that

Birdyboi: That's not how yeet works

Scarletbitch: How would u no old man

BlackWidowBaby: burnnn

Birdyboi: Stop teaming up with the kids Nat

Scarletbitch: I'm 20 and offended

Snap, Crackle and SMASH: mood

Tony Snark: BANNER STOP

LittleMissMuffet: HE'S A BIG BOY MR STARK

Memelrd420: u still call him Mr Stark lol

LittleMissMuffet: stfu 

LittleMissMuffet: ALSO CHANGE MY NAME

Memelord420: NEVER

MARVELous Ms Maisel: Hi I'm new wft is

Tony Snark: Who in fresh hell are u

MARVELous Ms Maisel: Captain Marvel

BlackWidowBaby: She's a friend of Fury's from the 90's

Memelord420: She's also stupid OP

LittleMissMuffet: Like, stronger than Thor

Mr Mucle Man: No she's not

MARVELous Ms Maisel: Fight me bitch

BlackWidowBaby: Hey!

Tony Snark: Hey!!

Birdyboi: Hey!!!

Memelord420: This is a good christian server!

LittleMissMuffet: No swearing allowed

Ice Cold: What is wrong with not liking cursing?

BlackWidowBaby: On behalf of all of us I apoligise for him

MARVELous Ms Maisel: Wait

MARVELous Ms Maisel: I said bitch

MARVELous Ms Maisel: That's a female dog u uncultured swine

Memelord420: oh snap

LittleMissMuffet: She's right...

Scarletbitch: someone finally beat Cap

LittleMissMuffet: It's a great day to be alive

Ice Cold: ....

Ice Cold: Fine you can use the b-word

Mr Mucle Man: I like this one!

Snap, Crackle and SMASH: i yeet that

Memelord420: Bruce, I've only known u for a short time but did I mention I love u?

LittleMissMuffet: owo

Scarletbitch: uwu

Furry: SHURI HE'S WAY TOO OLD FOR YOU!

Memelord420: Relax brother it's a joke

Memelord420: Actually whoops wait I'm not supposed to be talking to u

Furry: Shuri...

Furry: I'm sorry about telling mother

Memelord420: Back off TRAITOR

LittleMissMuffet: oof

Scarletbitch: That's a yikes from me

Memelord420: Bruce ur my new brother

MARVELous Ms Maisel: I am so confused right now

BlackWidowBaby: Don't worry we all are

An Adult: Hey guys, don't mean to interrupt, someone has been knocking at the door for 15 minutes 

Tony Snark: Whoops

LittleMissMuffet: Big yikes

BlackWidowBaby: Who's going to answer it?

Tony Snark: Not it

LittleMissMuffet: Not it

Scarletbitch: not it

BlackWidowBaby: Not it

Mr Mucle Man: It is not I who will brave this expidition

LittleMissMuffet: okayyy...

Snap, Crackle and SMASH: Not it

Birdyboi: Not it

Memelord420: Not it

LittleMissMuffet: ur not even on this side of the world

Memelord420: I jUsT wAnT tO bE iNcLuDeD oK pEtEr

Furry: I too would like to be included

Tony Snark: This is not a 'I want to be included compition' compition

Memelord420: back off bitch

MARVELous Ms Maisel: Not it 

2020: I will not be answering the door

Ripoff Birdyboi: Not it

Ripoff Birdyboi: And Shuri please change my name

Memelord420: Never

Ripoff Birdyboi: Go die in a hole

Furry: Excuse you

Memelord420: TREASON

Memelord420: Arrest him

LittleMissMuffet: But he doesn't live in Wakanda Shuri...

Memelord420: Oh stfu pete

Furry: Don't

Furry: Threathen

Furry: My

Furry: Sister

Furry: Again

Furry: Are we clear?

Memelord420: Ur not supposed to talk to me/about me

Furry: Sorry sister

Ice Cold: For God's sake, I'll answer the door

BlackWidowBaby: Our hero

LittleMissMuffet: We stan a living legend

Mr Mucle Man: Good luck friend Steve

Scarletbitch: May the odds be ever in ur favor

**Ice Cold has left the chat**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( Also that new Endgame trailer tho)  
> 


	3. That Dipshit From Missouri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rocket wants fuel, Spiderman gets an upgrade and Gamora digs deep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long hiatus folks! School work and all that other bs. I had originally meant to post this on Monday, but I accidentally deleted the file (whoopsies) and I just didn't have the time to retype it until Friday. I am going to try for a once a week sort of thing (Maybe on a Monday?) But for now enjoy!

**10:59 AM**  
**Avengers Groupchat**

Ice Cold: Thor, there's a racoon here claiming he knows you.

Ice Cold: There is also a rather large spaceship with him.

Ice Cold: And a tree, three aliens and a man

Ice Cold: The man claims he is a lord

Mr Muscle Man: It's rabbit!

Ice Cold: Who?

Mr Muscle Man: Rabbit! I made friends with he and his crew in Space after Ragnork!

Mr Muscle Man: Place Rabbit on the phone at once

Ice Cold: Alright...

Ice Cold: hey

Mr Muscle Man: Rabbit! How have you been? How wonderful of you to come and visit

Ice Cold: our ship ran out of fuel so we had to stop amd get some so i thought who do we know who could give us free fuel? and ended up on you

Mr Muscle Man: ...

Mr Muscle Man: Still friend Rabbit thank you for thinking of us first!

Ice Cold: can you let us in now? it's freezing out here

Mr Muscle Man: Of course!

Ice Cold: I'm sorry Thor we can't

Mr Muscle Man: For Odin’s sake, why not?

Ice Cold: They don't have background checks!

Tony Snark: Christ sake Cap

Ice Cold: Language!

Birdyboi: BoRiNg

BlackWidowBaby: Shut the fuck up

Ice Cold: I'm conflicted on whether or not to be mad at that one.

BlackWidowBaby: Don't be

BlackWidowBaby: I'll set Clint back on u

Ice Cold: Point taken.

Tony Snark: Back to the topic of THERE'S A SPACESHIP IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE

Snap, Crakle and SMASH: *Technically our house

Tony Snark: It's mine and u no it

Birdyboi: mood

Scarletbitch: no not u

Birdyboi: I'm down with the kids, baby

Memelord420: No-one who has ever said "I'm down with the kids" has ever actually been "down with the kids

Snap, Crackle and SMASH: preach

Birdyboi: How come he's allowed to do it?

Scarletbitch: we like him

Memelord420: I was going to say he was cool but that goes pretty well too

Ice Cold: IS SOMEONE GOING TO LET US THE FUCK IN OR NOT!

Birdyboi: Cap?

Ice Cold: no genius it's rocket

Birdyboi: ?

Ice Cold: the racoon

Birdyboi: oh ya

Ice Cold: is he slow or just high

Tony Snark: Slow

BlackWidowBaby: Hey!

BlackWidowBaby: The only person who gets to call Clint slow is me

Birdyboi: Excuse me?

Scarletbitch: eh hem

BlackWidowBaby: Oh and Wanda does too

Birdyboi: Nat!

BlackWidowBaby: ur putting that poor child through hell

Birdyboi: true true

Ice Cold: Wait

Ice Cold: Who said trash panda was the leader of the Guardians?

Mr Muscle Man: He did himself

Ice Cold: Oh so we're lying to the god-man now, are we?

Tony Snark: Who are u?

Tony Snark: No wait don't bother

Tony Snark: I already know

Tony Snark: ur that dipshit from Missouri aren't u?

Ice Cold: Name's Starlord actually

Ice Cold: Leader of the Guardians

Ice Cold: No one is the leader of the Guardians Peter

Ice Cold: I'm Gamora, deadliest woman alive

BlackWidowBaby: I beg to differ

Ice Cold: I wouldn't if I were u

Scarletbitch: fight, fight, fight

Memelord420: Shut up Wanda, this is interesting

Ice Cold: I AM GROOT

Ice Cold: Groot!

Ice Cold: I'm sorry about him

Ice Cold: Who gave him that new game?

Ice Cold: It is all Peter's fault

Ice Cold: Yes, blame Peter!

Ice Cold: drax we all know it was you

Ice Cold: No it was not!

Ice Cold: That game is extremely inappropriate!

Scarletbitch: OH MY FUCKING GOD WHO THE FUCK IS TALKING RIGHT NOW

Memelord420: Wow

LittleMissMuffet: Wanda sister snapped

Ice Cold: Wanda...

Ice Cold: That is terrible language.

Ice Cold: We have guests.

Tony Snark: Well we all know that was Steve

LittleMissMuffet: Mr Stark, can we not give the Guardians some of ur phones?

LittleMissMuffet: Or, u no just talk to them?

Scarletbitch: lol

BlackWidowBaby: I'm not moving

Birdyboi: I second that

Tony Snark: FINE

Tony Snark: I'll do it myself

LittleMissMuffet: That sounds kinda evil Mr Stark, ngl

Scarletbitch: or a story about a little red hen

LittleMissMuffet: ?

Scarletbitch: either or

Memelord420: It's done

Furry: Sister, what have you done?

Furry: Have you killed someone again?

LittleMissMuffet: Shuri I think I speak on behalf of all of us when I say what the hell?

Memelord420: No!

Memelord420: no no no no no!

Memelord420: I have never killed anybody!

Memelord420: Brother, if I was just going around killing people; u would be long dead by now

Scarletbitch: FUCKING REKT

LittleMissMuffet: *airhorns* Our Queen! Our Queen

Memelord320: I'm here every night folks

Memelord420: But unfortunately I'm not here to talk about my netflix comedy special

Furry: You have one of those?

Furry: Congratulations sister!

Memelord420: That was a joke...

Furry: Oh sorry.

LittleMissMuffet: Seriously though, what have u done

Memelord420: Something magical...

Memelord420: Though "seriously" I gave all the Guardians phones

LittleMissMuffet: How?

Tony Snark: ur at the other side of the world!

Snap, Crackle and SMASH: wtf?

Memelord420: The magic of vibrainum...

Furry: You can't teleport with vibranium.

Memelord420: Another joke brother

Furry: Oh

Memelord420: I got the wizard guy to teleport them there in exchange for not making him join the gc

Snap, Crackle and SMASH: ouch

Tony Snark: I feel betrayed

Tony Snark: I thought we really had something...

BlackWidowBaby: Well, u didn't

Scarletbitch: nat with the truuuth

An Adult: Don't worry, Tony just thought he had found an intellectual match in Strange...

Tony Snark: Rhodey...

Tony Snark: Shut up

LittleMissMuffet: What!?

An Adult: Yup

Snap; Crackle and SMASH: imma not smart enough 4 u?

Tony Snark: Banner ur memeing with the kids

Snap, Crackle and SMASH: truth

Tony Snark: fu

Memelord420: What about me?

Memelord420: I'm way smarter than u

Tony Snark: EXCUSE ME WHAT

Memelord420: u no it to be true

Tony Snark: u need discipline

Memelord420: Ur wrong I basically built a country but can u all shut up for like 5 seconds

Memelord420 has added TheWorstPeter, An aSASSain, Big Guy, Rabbit, Tree, The android set by cyberlife and Praying to the groupchat

Tony Snark: BUT U WERE A PRINCESS WITH A SHIT TON OF MONEY

Memelord420: Talk about a pot calling a kettle black, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist

LittleMissMuffet: Guys I'm really smart too...

Tony Snark: Shut up Peter

Memelord420: Shut up Peter

Tony Snark: I BUILT MY SUIT IN A CAVE

Memelord420: I MODERNISED A COUNTRY AND I'M 16

Scarletbitch: fight, fight, fight

Praying: Don't listen to the red dog, fighting is never the option

Big Guy: Fighting is always the best option

Scarletbitch: sorry who in the fresh hell are u?

Tony Snark: I see fresh hell is catching on

LittleMissMuffet: Shut up Mr Stark

Tony Snark: Excuse me?  
LittleMissMuffet: Sorry Mr Stark, I'll never do that ever again

Tony Snark: Go to ur room

LittleMissMuffet: 😢

Praying: To answer your question, my name is Mantis, the Guardian's pet

Big Guy: Hahahaha!

An aSASSain: Drax!

An aSASSain: I told you not to tell Mantis she's a pet!

Big Guy: Hahahaha

TheWorstPeter: How come I'm the worst Peter?

LittleMissMuffet: Awwww Shuri!

Memelord420: Shut up Peter

TheWorstPeter: Ouch

Memelord420: Not u

Memelord420: uck this is so confusing

Tony Snark: U think ur on my level and u can't even cope with 2 people with the same name

Memelord420: Shut up Stark

LittleMissMuffet: She told u to shut up consequence free!

Tony Snark: Are u questioning me?

LittleMissMuffet: no sir

Tree: I am groot

Memelord420: Well now ur tree

Tree: I am groot

Memelord420: It's just a nickname...

Tree: I AM GROOT

Rabbit: that's his language you insensitive fucker

Furry: Excuse me!

Ice Cold: Language!!!!

Tony Snark: Steve we've been over this

Tony Snark: No one likes it when u do this

Rabbit: don't tell me what to do

Scarletbitch: oh savage

TheWorstPeter: He's a barbarian alright

Tony Snark: That's not what I meant, imbecilie

Scarletbitch: ohhhhh burnnnn

Big Guy: Why do you wish to burn your leader?

Birdyboi: Wanda can u stop using slang in front of the aliens

Scarletbitch: Never bitch

An aSASSain: According to the little girl trapped inside my communicator, "burn" is customaraily used when a particularly harsh insult is spoken

An aSASSain: Not literarily scalded

TheWorstPeter: Wow, my girlfriend is so smart

An aSASSain: One I am not your girlfriend

TheWorstPeter: Ouch

An aSASSain: And two it was a girl by the name of Siri who found this information

An aSASSain: I have to say though I am appalled that you kidnap little girls to put them in your communicators

LittleMissMuffet: What?

BlackWidowBaby: Are u talking about Siri?

Mr Muscle Man: I was not aware of this Midgardian tradition

Praying: That is so cruel!

Ice Cold: We must stop this!

Ice Cold: Avengers, Assemble!

LittleMissMuffet: Oh my god(s)!

LittleMissMuffet: That was so cool!

Memelord420: Peter!!!!

Tony Snark: Guys, Siri is just an AI

An aSASSain: An Alternate Lifeform?  
TheWorstPeter: Are you trapping aliens?  
LittleMissMuffet: That's not very nice Mr Stark

Tony Snark: For the love of God Peter

Ice Cold: Don't use the lord's name in vain

Birdyboi: OLD

Scarletbitch: pot, meet kettle

BlackWidowBaby: Was that an educated joke for once?

Scarletbitch: yeet

Tony Snark: And she's back

An aSASSain: oh wait AI means artificial intelligence

TheWorstPeter: ?

An aSASSain: Like a robot

TheWostPeter: God your so smart

An aSASSain: I am very smart

Tree: I am Groot!

Rabbit: thats true groot, but im still smarter

BlackWidowBaby: Jesus Christ not this again

An aSASSain: guys shut up

Birdyboi: Nat I think u made a friend

BlackWidowBaby:🖕

TheWorstPeter: How did u do that?

TheWorstPeter: I’ve been making faces at mine for ages

Praying: Maybe..

Praying: Maybe that’s because...

Praying: Maybe that’s because your face is so ugly

Big Guy: Ahahahaha

An aSASSain: Drax...

An aSASSain::Don’t make Mantis do your dirty work

Big Guy: How did you know?

An aSASSain: I’m standing right beside you

An aSASSain: You were very loudly shouting that very sentence in her ear

TheWorstPeter: busted

Rabbit: shut up quill

LittleMissMuffet: Can everyone shut up

Rabbit: thank you spiderboy

Memelord420: lmao

LittleMissMuffet: It's Spiderman actually

Big Guy: Young Peter, you are only a child

LittleMissMuffet: No I’m not!

Tony Snark: u are spidey

Birdyboi: Are we going for a rebrand?

Scarletbitch: “spiderboy, spiderboy, does whatever a spider can”

Memelord420: I kinda love this, ngl

Memelord420: Actually...

LittleMissMuffet: Shuri u wouldn’t

LittleMissMuffet: Shuri no!

Memelord420: Shuri yes!

Memelord420 has changed “LittleMissMuffet” to “Spiderboi”

Spiderboi: I hate u

Memelord420: I no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Also why did the Russo brothers dust Shuri, WHY GOD WHY)


	4. I Will Go Down With This Ship (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Wanda has a plan, Peter wants an education and Shuri refrences an old meme

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being gone for so long! I have exams right now (yay) but I'm off for Easter this weekend! Anyways, this is part 1 of 2 but the 2nd part should be out on Monday! 
> 
> Happy reading!

**2:32 PM**  
Memelord420 has created the group “Hippidy Hop Dawgs”

Memelord420 has added Spiderboi and Scarletbitch to the chat

Memelord420: Peter

Memelord420: Peter

Memelord420: PeTeR

Spiderboi: Shuri wtf I’m in class

Memelord420: bitch this is more important

Scarletbitch: like, seriously fuck ur education

Spiderboi: I’m kinda offended rn, ngl

Memelord420: Shut the fuck up spiderboy

Spiderboi: StOp

Scarletbitch: lolz

Memelord420: lolz is so old

Memelord420: Stop trying to make fetch happen

Scarletbitch: says the child who unironically said “what are those” IN 2018

Memelord420: ...

Memelord420: Shut up

Spiderboi: Whelp I’mma go back to class

Memelord420: Wait!

Scarletbitch: no!

Spiderboi: wtf do u want then

Memelord420: I made this gc to inform u that Wanda and I have ascended to goddess level manipulation

Scarletbitch: yeet

Spiderboi: What did u do

Scarletbitch: WE’RE SETTING UP THE AVENGERS!

Memelord420: We’re motherfucking Eros

Scarletbitch: i thought it was cupid?

Memelord420: Fuck Roman mythology

Spiderboi: Guys what the actual fuck!

Scarletbitch: we’re gonna make ‘e fuck!

Memelord420: ...

Memelord420: tmi Wanda tmi

Memelord420: But ya, that’s the intention

Spiderboi: Guuuysss

Spiderboi: Who in their right mind decided this was a good idea?

Scarletbitch: it was my idea!

Scaerletbitch: wait that was an insult

Scarletbitch: fuck

Memelord420: Lolz

Scarletbitch: shuri u fucking hypocrite!

Spiderboi: Like, how is that even going to work?

Spiderboi: I mean, Shuri’s at the other side of the world ffs

Memelord420: u underestimate my abilities?

Scarletbitch: how dare u underestimate my shista

Spiderboi: Who are u even setting up anyways?

Memelord420: Steve

Spiderboi: And...

Scarletbitch: natasha

Scarletbitch: yeet

Memelord420: Tell me u do not ship

Spiderboi: Guys...

Spiderboi: For ur first fucking day on the rodeo, u decide to set up BLACK WIDOW

Spiderboi: DO U WANT TO DIE!?!?!

Memelord420: Shut up

Scarletbitch: They’re gonna be hella cute

Scarletbitch: we👏stan👏

Spiderboi: HAVE U LOST UR GODDAM minds!

Memelord420: Long, long ago

Scarletbitch: seconded

Spiderboi: Bye

Spiderboi: Bye

Spiderboi: Bye

Spiderboi: I have no part in this

Memelord420: Ohhh yes u do

Memelord420: Unless u want me to send Karen’s video files to Tony...

Spiderboi: u wouldn’t

Spiderboi: How did u even get those?

Memelord420: Vibranium

Memelord420: And I would

Scarletbitch: i don’t even no what she has on there but she 100% would

Memelord420: Oh wait, do u want to see?

Scarletbitch: YES

Spiderboi: NO!

Spiderboi: Wait, how much did u get?

Memelord420: EvErYtHiNg

Memelord420: u pretending to be Thor...

Memelord420: u after u watched the notebook...

Memelord420: 42 minutes of u trying to write a song for mj, which btw I thought was really cute

Scarletbitch: who is she?

Memelord420: Some girl from his school

Scarletbitch: are they dating?

Spiderboi: NO!

Memelord420: No 😢

Scarletbitch: do we ship tho?

Memelord420: Yeet

Spiderboi: OMG STOP

Spiderboi: Shuri do u even have a life?

Memelord420: I’m awake in the middle of the night with a google doc detailing my plans to get Captain America and Black Widow together

Memelord420: Does it sound like I have a goddam life?

Scarletbitch: ouch too real

Scarletbitch: alexa play despacito

Memelord420: Thank u Wanda

Memelord420: A true friend

Memelord420: Anyways back to yeeter parker and his gf

Spiderboi: Shut up!!!

Memelord420: Not unless u join us

Spiderboi: NEVA!

Memelord420: Alright

Memelord420: Wondy,I found out that MJ ...

Scarletbitch: what?!?!?!

Spiderboi: STOP

Spiderboi: OK

Spiderboi: FINE

Spiderboi: I’ll do it u evil bitch

Scarletbitch: yeet

Memelord420: That wasn’t so hard now, was it 😄?

Spiderboi: Fuck u

Memelord420: 😘

Spiderboi: What’s the plan?

Scarletbitch: well we hired a couple of peeps

Spiderboi: ?

Scarletbitch had added “Rabbit” to the chat

Scarletbitch: by a couple she meant 1

Memelord420: It sounds a lot more dramatic that way, OK!

Rabbit: oh fuck another 1

Memelord420: I hired the...

Rabbit: be careful what u say next

Memelord420: I hired the Rocket to do a teeny tiny thing for me...

Rabbit: steal that communicator?

Memelord420: Yup

Rabbit: done

Rabbit: where’s my $1000?

 Scarletbitch: I’ll give it to u

Memelord420: Just leave it in Wanda’s room

Spiderboi: What communicator???

Spiderboi: Who’s communicator!?

Scarletbitch: well...

Scarletbitch: we kinda asked rocket to take natasha’s phone  
Spiderboi: OMG

Spiderboi: OH MY GOD

Spiderboi: OH MY SWEET SUFFERING GOD!

Spiderboi: WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!

Spiderboi: SHURI I THOUGHT U PLANNED THIS!!!

Memelord420: No no this was Wanda’s idea

Spiderboi: U, A GENIUS WHO KNOWS HOW DANGEROUS NATASHA ROMANOFF IS, LET WANDA PLAN UR OPPERATION TO STEAL FROM HER!!!

Scarletbitch: hey!

Memelord420: Wow Pete, aggressive

Scarletbitch: I AM SMART

Spiderboi: WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!

Rabbit: ...surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy

Memelord420: Wut?

Rabbit: reminded me of something else

Memelord420: Alright then

Memelord420: Peter stop being a fucking wuss

Scarletbitch: that was the best insult u could think of?

Memelord420: Wanda u need to back me up here

Scarletbitch: fine

Scarletbitch: peter if u don’t stop freaking out, i’m declaring u as spiderboy to the world

Rabbit: i like your style

Scarletbitch: thank u!

Memelord420: Pete, u ok?

Spiderboi: Sorry I dropped my phone in the toilet

Memelord420: Peter!

Scarletbitch: ew

Spiderboi: Wanda, this is all ur fault

Scarletbitch: oh wait i have the phone

Scarletbitch: thx rocket

Rabbit: anything for money

Spiderboi: mood

Memelord420: Anyways, plan stage 2!!

Spiderboi: What’s stage 2?

Scarletbitch: we text cap

Spiderboi: Shit we’re dead

Memelord420: Peter have faaaith

Spiderboi: I have no faith in either of u

Spiderboi: Also, just a side note 2 of my friends are looking for me cause I’ve been in the bathroom for 20 minutes

Spiderboi: MR HARRIONTION IS GOING TO KILL ME!!

Scarletbitch: wow pete, u have friends?

Spiderboi: That’s what u took away from this?

Rabbit: just tell them you have the shits

Rabbit: done your welcome

Spiderboi: ...

Spiderboi: Great thx

Scarletbitch: shuri how does ur stupid bug thing work again?

Memelord420: Just slap it on the home button and It’ll open

Spiderboi: ?

Memelord420: I made something to open all phones

Spiderboi: May I ask why

Memelord420: T’Challa was talking to a girl and he wouldn’t tell me who

Memelord420: Then the fucker changed his passcode

Memelord420: So I made a thing to open his phone

Spiderboi: Shuri ur fucking terrifying

Memelord420: Thanks!

Scarletbitch: i’m in!

Memelord420: Yeet!

Scarletbitch: alright what do i text him?

Memelord420:Um...

**To Be Continued...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeek did anyone ask for this?  
> No  
> Why did I do this?  
> I don't know  
> Did people enjoy this?  
> Probably not, no  
> Am I excited about part two?  
> Yes, arguably too much  
> In conclusion?  
> Yeet


	5. I Will Go Down With This Ship (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Natasha Romamoff not called a superspy for nothing and Steve stutters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Just a very small chapter this time, though I'm halfway through writing the next "big chapter". This is for all of you who were asking how they could possibly get a plan like this past Nat.  
> The answer?  
> They don't

**3:45PM**

Unknown: Hey

Ice Cold: Who is this?

Ice Cold: How did you get my number?

Unknown: Relax Stevie it's Nastasha

Ice Cold: What??

Unknown: Just shut up and listen

Unknown: My number is going to text u in a few minutes, asking to go out somewhere

Ice Cold: What?!?

Ice Cold: Nat how do you know?

Ice Cold: Do I want to know how you know?

Unknown: I have my sources ;)

Unknown: The kids are trying to set us up

Unknown: Apparently they think they're cupid now

Ice Cold: What?

Ice Cold: That's crazy.

Ice Cold: We're friends.

Ice Cold: The best of friends.

Ice Cold: Friends forever.

Ice Cold: Just friends.

Ice Cold: Friends, friends, friends.

Unknown: Steve.exe has stopped funtioning

Ice Cold: What?

Unknown: Uck never mind

Ice Cold: Wait.

Ice Cold: If you know about it, why don't you stop it?

Unknown: But where's the fun in that?

Ice Cold: Nat?

Unknown: Come on

Unknown: Let's give 'em a show

Ice Cold: Um

Ice Cold: Alright

Unknown: And Steve?

Ice Cold: Yes?

Unknown: Wear ur blue suit

Unknown: It looks nice

Ice Cold: Oh.

Ice Cold: Ttthank you.

Unknown: Ur very welcome ;)

**Unknown has left the chat**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this is a trilogy now?


	6. I Will Go Down With This Ship (Part 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ned and MJ are added to the chat, Shuri uses a comma and the shippathon continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been 84 years...

**3:00 PM**

**Hippidy Hop Dawgs**

Memelord420: I donno

Spiderboi: Shuri wtf

Memelord420: What?!?!?

Memelord420: I can’t be expected to do EVERYTHING Parker

Memelord420: Someday ur gonna have to fend for urself smh

Scarletbitch: SORRY FOR INTERUPTING BUT I’VE JUST HACKED INTO NATASHA FUCKING NOMANOFF’S PHONE AND I AM SCARED OUT OF MY TINY MIND

Memelord420: I’ve noticed

Scarletbitch: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Memelord420: Alright calmavú

Memelord420: Just text ‘meet me at central park at 4:00’

Memelord420: Oh ‘and wear something nice’

Scarletbitch: kk

Scarletbitch: winky face or no winky face

Rabbit: winky face

Memelord420: Duh

Spiderboi: What?!?

Spiderboi: NO

Spiderboi: GUYS DID U FORGET THIS IS CAPTAIN AMERICA WE’RE TALKING ABOUT

Spiderboi: WOULD CAPTAIN AMERICA SEND A WINKY FACE??

Memelord420: Holy shit the nerd has a point

Spiderboi: Thx I guess?

Scarletbitch: sozzles y’all but i did gone did it

Rabbit: what the hell was that?

Memelord420: Who’s going teach the racoon the means of the internet

Rabbit: I AM NOT A RACOON

Rabbit: WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS

Scarletbitch: shuri u racist

Memelord420: Soz trash panda

Memelord420: On the plus side, u now know that CAP LOCKS means ANGER

Rabbit: i mean i’m not dense

Scarletbitch: shuri

Scarletbitch: did u just use

Scarletbitch: A COMMA

Memelord420: Wanda I’m sorry...

Scarletbitch: BETRAYAL!

Scarletbitch: pete back me up here

Scarletbitch: pete?

Memelord420: Wait where’s wally?

Memelord420: If ur backing out now yeeter I swear to god...

Scarletbitch: ill call him don’t u worry bb

Spiderboi: HJLNSGKDDJF Wanda don’t

Spiderboi: There’s someone outside my stall

Scarletbitch: shit i forgot u were still at school

Memelord420: Ha ha nerd

Spiderboi: Shuri it’s state mandated  
S

piderboi: Not everyone’s a princess

Memelord420: Pesent

Spiderboi: Anyways my friend Ned is checking all the stalls for me

Spiderboi: I’VE BEEN MISSING FROM CLASS FOR 45 MINUTES BECAUSE U2 WANT UR SHIP TO SAIL

Scarletbitch: U2 lol

Memelord420: Wait who’s U2?

Scarletbitch: HOW do u not no U2

Rabbit: i don’t either

Scarletbitch: well ur a peice of trash from space

Scarletbitch: i understand that

Scarletbitch: BUT U

Scarletbitch: SHURI

Scarletbitch: MEMELORD420

Scarletbitch: for shame

Scarletbitch: it’s pre-downloaded on all iphones btw

Memelord420: That makes sense

Memelord420: I make all my own phones because I’m not a PLEBIAN like the rest of u

Scarletbitch: smh

Spiderboi: Guys back to me

Memelord420: God peter ur such a diva

Memelord420: What’s ur friends names

Spiderboi: Ned and MJ

Memelord420: Full names Peter

Spiderboi: What why?

Memelord420: nm I found them on ur insta

Memelord420: Also @YeeterYarker only has 7 followers?

Scarletbitch: What a sad little life Janet

Rabbit: i’ve been on earth for 2 days and i have 1673

Rabbit: @realrocket btw

Scarletbitch: wow catching up on slang

Scarletbitch: i’m so proud of this community

Spiderboi: Wait not a fair comparison

Spiderboi: @SpiderMAN has 2.6M

Spiderboi: Oh wait

Spiderboi: Shit

Spiderboi: Shuri what do u want with my friends?

Memelord420: Chill I’m just fixing ur problem

Memelord420 has added StarWarsStan and Itsyagirlsatan to the chat

Spiderboi: ShUrIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi!!!!

StarWarsStan: Hey what’s this?

Spiderboi has removed itsyagirlsatan from the chat

StarWarsStan: What’s going on?

Memelord420: Hey what did u do that for?

Spideboi: Remember our little convo earlier?

Memelord420: ?

Spiderboi: THE SONG?

Scarletbitch: oh ya lol

Spiderboi: Ned can u read the chat history

StarWarsStan: Peter is that u?

Spiderboi: ANSWER THE QUESTION NED!!

StarWarsStan: Alright chill I'll check

StarWarsStan: No why?

StarWarsStan: Also peter where are u?

StarWarsStan:Are u on a mission or something?

StarWarsStan: Cus that’s AWSOME

Spiderboi: Um no not exactly...

Memelord420: Anyway I’m adding MJ back

Spiderboi: Shuri nooo!

Memelord420 has added Itsyagirlsatan to the chat

Itsyagirlsatan: What the fuck is this?

StarWarsStan: It’s ok! Peter’s here!

Itsyagirlsatan: That literally tells me nothing

Spiderboi: Hey sorry guys, Shuri just added u to tell u I’m ok

Itsyagirlsatan: ???

StarWarsStan: U mean like PRINCESS SHURI OF WAKANDA SHURI

Memelord420: The one and only

Memelord420: U see this is the way a KWEEN DESERVES to be treated

Scarletbitch: lovely moment and all but peter

WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT COMMAS

StarWarsStan: AHHHH ARE U SCARLET WITCH

Scarletbitch: yee

StarWarsStan: AHH THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!

Scarletbitch: aww i love him

StarWarsStan: SCARLET WITCH LOVES ME I CAN’T EVEN...

Spiderboi: Are u ok buddy?

StarWarsStan: I think I might be having a heart attack but of happiness!

Rabbit: also i’m here

StarWarsStan: ???

Rabbit: the heroic brains behind the intergalatic space team the one and only gaurdians of the galaxy?

StarWarsStan: ???

Rabbit: the racoon

StarWarsStan: OMG ROCKET!!!

Itsyagirlsatan: Can I go now?

Spiderboi: Sure!!!

Memelord420: No u can’t

Scarletbitch: no one ever leaves...

Itsyagirlsatan: Ur lack of capitalisation disturbs me

Scarletbitch: ok rude

Scatletbitch: also grammar scares me so i can relate

Memelord420: Such struggles Wanda, such struggles

Scarletbitch: ikr?

Itsyagirlsatan: Anyway why are we here?

Memelord420: Oh ya for me to tell u to stop harrassing pete

Memelord420: He’s doing God’s work rn

Scarletbitch: by that she means mine

Itsyagirlsatan: What are u doing?

Itsyagirlsatan: Are u pressuring him to do something

Spiderboi: Hey!

Itsyagirlsatan: Sorry pete but ur such a pushover

Itsyagirlsatan: Plus making u do things u don’t want to do is my job

Memelord420: Shhh MJ it's ok

 Memelord420: We just have a small superhero related plan that we need Peter’s expertises on

Itsyagirlsatan: What is it?

Scarletbitch: we’re setting up Steve and Natasha

Itsyagirlsatan: ?

StarWarsStan: wHaT!?!?!

StarWarsStan: Like Black Widow an Captain America Steve and Natasha

Scarletbitch: u heard me

StarWarsStan: THAT’S SO COOL

Memelord420: THANK U

Scarletbitch: this is the kind of enthusiam we were looking for pEtEr

Itsyagirlsatan: U know what?

Itsyagirlsatan: I’m in

Itsyagirlsatan: Even if this crashes and burns, It’ll be entertaining

Scarletbitch: yeet

Spiderboi: MJ!!!

Spiderboi: U were supposed to be on my side!!  
Itsyagirlsatan: Which is?

Spiderboi: THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA AND NATASHA’S GOING TO KILL ALL OF US!!!

Itsyagirlsatan: Oh ya I agree with that

Itsyagirlsatan: However the nihallist in me really wants to watch this crash and burn

Memelord420: That’s the spirit

Scarletbitch: ew old

Scarletbitch: also really liking ur gf peter

Spiderboi: HJKDFKDVDCEUSJDG

Memelord420: peter.exe has stopped working

Spiderboi: SHE’S MY FRIEND

Scarletbitch: sure...

Itsyagirlsatan: lol

Scarletbitch: Oh wait Cap texted back!!!

Scarletbitch: He’ll be at Avengers Towers at 3:50 with flowers!!!

Memelord420: Awww he’s so cute

Spiderboi: Wait guys u forgot an important part of the plan

Memelord420: Which is..?

Spiderboi: No one texted Natasha!!!

Memelord420: We already did that dumbass

Spiderboi: How?

Memelord420: It was actually super easy barely an inconvenience

Memelord420: He has no password on his phone so Wanda just texted her that he’d be coming to avengers tower at 3:50 for a “special suprise”

Memelord420: Cool right?

Spiderboi: How are u going to get around the fact that neither of them know they’re doing on the date?

Scarletbitch: easy

Scarletbitch: i’m going to lurk around nat’s room until she comes back and then when she tells me about the date i’ll spoon feed her ideas

Itsyagirlsatan: This is going to be an absolute disaster

Itsyagirlsatan: I’m so excited

Spiderboi: Wanda u think ir going to maipulate Natasha, a SPY into giving up details about her private life?

Spiderboi: I only know 3 things about her!

Scarletbitch: like rosa from B99

Spiderboi: What?

Itsyagirlsatan: Oh Pete u have to watch it, it’s great

Spiderboi: Also who’s going to “spoon feed” Steve ideas?

Spiderboi: Wanda?!?!?

Scarletbitch: oh shit nat’s comimg gtg byeee

Spiderboi: Well fuck, she’s dead

Memelord420: Have faith Peter

Memelord420: Can either Ned or MJ go back to class and tell ur teacher Peter’s sick or something

Memelord420: Then the other one can sneak him out

Spiderboi: Why???

StarWarsStan: On it

Memelord420: Thank u Ned ur the best

Rabbit: tell the teacher he has the shits

Rabbit: it gets me out of cleaning the ship everytime

Memelord420: Jesus I forgot u existed tbh

Spiderboi: Same

Rabbit: fuck u

Memelord420: Ditto

StarWarsStan: Alright I went back to class and told Mr Harrington that Peter has chronic diarrhoea

Spiderboi: NED

StarWarsStan: jk jk

StarWarsStan: I’m allowed to stay out and help u though

Memelord420: Great!

Memelord420: Can u and MJ sneak him out?

Itsyagirlsatan: kk

StarWarsStan: Wait for me!!!

Spiderboi: SHURI WHY!

Spiderboi: We could get in trouble!!!

Itsyagirlsatan: Shut up dork

Spiderboi: I am disgusted. I am revolted. I dedicate my entire life to our lord and savior jesus christ, and THIS is the thanks i get

Memelord420: mmm quality vine there

Rabbit: ?

Memelord420: Ohhh we are going to have some fun later

Itsyagirlsatan: Well

Itsyagirlsatan: We got out the back door

Spiderboi: The security here is shocking btw

StarWarsStan: I’m also here

Memelord420: Alright now just go to Avengers headquarters and find Steve

Spiderboi: WhY!??!??!??!

Memelord420: U need to spoon feed Steve

Spiderboi: Wait

Spiderboi: What

Spiderboi: No

Memelord420: Remember why ir doing this Pete

Spiderboi: ???

Memelord420: The song?

Memelord420: That I can leak at anytime?

Itsyagirlsatan: Wait what song?

Spiderboi: ...

Spiderboi: fine

Spiderboi: Just know that I hate u and I will get my revenge

Memelord420: Alright I can live with that

Memelord420: Now move ur ass! My ships gotta sail!

Spiderboi: fuck u

Memelord420: Ditto Peter

Memelord420: Ditto

**To Be Continued...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about being M.I.A for so long! I geuinely couldn't think of a good way to finish this thing! You may have also noticed this is not the last part of the "I Will Go Down With This Ship Saga (I'm just as shocked as you that this is a thing), but good news, I have part 4 already finished! So that will be uploaded on Saturday. After that, we'll be back to the regularly scheduled random crack with no plot. Also side note, if any of you have a good name for Ned, please comment it below, because I couldn't think of anything!


	7. I Will Go Down With This Ship (Part 4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the date finally happens, Clint is "hip" now and MJ gets deep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally done ladies! Enjoy!

3:35

Hippidy Hop Dawgs

Memelord420: Yeeter are u there yet?

Spiderboi: Almost

Spiderboi: U know it’s v. hard to text while webbing

Memelord420: Wait I thought u took the subway

Spiderboi: Well I do always eat fresh

Spiderboi: 😉

Itsyagirlsatan: Ew no I hate that

StarWarsStan: Sorry Pete but I gotta agree

Memelord420: Wait

Memelord420: If petey pie is swinging around the city...

Memelord420: Where are u to

Spiderboi: Wow Shujrk way to dhraw ot our

Memelord420: ???

Spiderboi: Sorry turbulance

Memelord420: Okayyyy...

StarWarsStan: To answer ur question we’re being driven by someone in a limo

Memelord420: Wait what?!?

Spiderboi: Ned u weren’t supposed to tell her!

StarWarsStan: Sorry Peter I can’t help it. I just have an overwhelming need for people to like me!

Memelord420: Mood

Memelord420: Who’s driving u?

Spiderboi: Ned if u tell her I will kill ur friends and family to remind u of our love

Itsyagirlsatan: It’s Halkeye

Memelord420: WHAT!?!

Spiderboi: MJJJJJJJAAAEA!

Itsyagirlsatan: Sorry not sorry bitch

Spiderboi: Ouch my heart

Memelord420: PETER U TOLD HER BEST FRIEND ABOUT THIS

Memelord420: WHEN WILL U LEARN

Memelord420: THAT UR ACTIONS

Memelord420: HAVE CONSUQUENCES

Spiderboi: Wait no it’s ok look

Spiderboi added Birdyboi to the chat

Spiderboi: Clint tell them ur a good boi

Birdyboi: Oh my god I’m in the cool club

Memelord420: On Wanda’s behalf, ew stop

Birdyboi: I don’t know what this is

Birdyboi: I don’t know what your plan is

Birdyboi: I don’t know who the two kids in the back of my car are

Birdyboi: But I am very excited about this

Itsyagirlsatan: I’m grateful for the free ride and all, but could u kindly refrain from texting and driving?

Itsyagirlsatan: Thx

StarWarsStan: It’s totally fine if u want to though

StarWarsStan: I’m Ned by the way

StarWarsStan: One of the kids in the back of ur car

StarWarsStan: Biiiiggg fan of urs

Itsyagirlsatan: Dweeb

Spiderboi: Suck up

Itsyagirlsatan: Lickass

StarWarsStan: Hey!!!

StarWarsStan: My feelings!

Scarletbitch: mood

Memelord420: Wanda!!!

Spiderboi: Ur back!!!

Memelord420: How was Natasha

Scarletbitch: great!

Scarletbitch: she told me about the date after some very subtle interrogation

Memelord420: Oh shit

Spiderboi: Wanda.

Spiderboi: What did u say?

Scarletbitch: i barged into her room

Scarletbitch: said “hey girl”

Memelord420: Wait no this is too bad

Memelord420: I don’t want know anymore

Spiderboi: Same tbh

Birdyboi: Hey Wanda!

Scarletbitch: holy shit

Scarletbitch: who the fuck let him into the groupchat

Scarletbitch: THE GROUP IS CALLED HIPPIDY HOP DAWGS FOR FUCK SAKE

Birdyboi: Wow ok I’m offended

Birdyboi: I’m hip

Birdyboi: Plus this is no way to treat your Daddy

Scarletbitch: OMFG EWWWW

Spiderboi: That does NOT mean what u think is does

Itsyagirlsatan: EYES ON THE ROAD CLINT

Birdyboi: OK SORRY

StarWarsStan: Again u can do whatever u want

StarWarsStan: Ur cars ur rules

Itsyagirlsatan: SHUT UP NED

Spiderboi: Ok Shuri what do I do now?

Scarletbitch: excuse me?

Spiderboi: ?

Scarletbitch: this is my plan dipshit

Scarletbitch: u follow ME

Spiderboi: Oh shit I forgot

Spiderboi: We’re dead

Itsyagirlsatan: lol

Scarletbitch: why does everyone underestimate me?

Birdyboi: I don’t

Birdyboi: Ur the best Wanda <3

Spiderboi: Awww

Memelord420: uwu

Scarletbitch: :’)

Itsyagirlsatan: ClInT rOaD

Birdyboi: OH SHIT

Itsyagirlsatan: I hope u appreciated the moment Wanda BECAUSE UR DAD DRIVES LIKE A MANIAC

Itsyagirlsatan: SERIOUSLY HAVE U EVER SEEN THE ROAD SAFETY ADS

Birdyboi: No are they good?

Itsyagirlsatan: U know what?

Itsyagirlsatan: I don’t care

Itsyagirlsatan: I want to die anyway 😄

Memelord430: THAT IS THE ATITUDE WE WANT MJ!!!

Scarletbitch: also side note he’s not my dad

Spiderboi: Really?

Memelord420: Seriously?

Itsyagirlsatan: Honestly?

StarWarsStan: Um...

StarWarsStan: Truly??

Birdyboi: Wanda...

Birdyboi: I’m dissapointed

Birdyboi: I’m sad

Birdyboi: I’m appalled

Birdyboi: I thought u were bae...

Birdyboi: Turns out u were just fam

Scarletbitch: did u just google that?

Birdyboi: ...

Birdyboi: Yes

Spiderboi: Ok Wanda back to ur stupid plan

Scarletbitch: MY PLAN IS NOT STUPID

Memelord420: Wanda u know I love u and support u 3000% in this right?

Itsyagirlsatan: 3000% isn’t a feasible present to support someone

Spiderboi: Ur a genius u should know this

Memelord420: Ok 100% NERDS

Scarletbitch: She can support me 3000% if she wants

Birdyboi: I don’t know what the hell ur talking about but  
Wanda can do anything she wants

Scarletbitch: uwu

Birdyboi: owo

Memelord420: Anyway Peter u have to admit it was better than Clint’s idea

Birdyboi: Wait what?

Spiderboi: What idea?

Memelord420: Remember when Clint watched umbrella acadmey and said we should make an umbrella acadamy ourselves because quote unquote “We all have Daddy issues”

Memelord420: Which I mean fair

Memelord420: But then Thor blew up ur training room...

Memelord420: Which btw wouldn’t happen if it was made of vibraniam...

Memelord420: Just saying...

Memelord420: Tell Tony to hit me up for an upgrade

Birdyboi: Oh ya yikes

Spiderboi: Oh shit here comes Steve

Spiderboi: Awww he’s wearing a suit

Spiderboi: He looks so cute

Memelord420: He struck me mute

Itsyagirlsatan: He’s got a voice like a flute

Scarletbitch: Hoot hoot hoot?

Memelord420: Ngl Wanda u kinda dropped the ball there

Scarletbitch: I no

Scarletbitch: I’m so sorry

Memelord420: u let me down

Memelord420: u left the group down

Memelord420: But most importantly

Memelord420: u let urself down

Scarletbitch: :,(

Spiderboi: Wait guys what do I say?

Birdyboi: Wing it?

Scarletbitch: Ewwww

Memelord420: Booo

Itsyagirlsatan: Disgusting

StarWarsStan: I like it

Itsyagirlsatan has changed StarWarsStan to LoSeR

LoSeR: Hey!  
Memelord420: Wait how did u do that?

Itsyagirlsatan: Hacked the server

Memelord420: Aww Peter I love her!

LoSeR has changed LoSeR to Nedanderthal

Nedanderthal: That’s better

Itsyagirlsatan: In fairness it’s much better than StarWarsStan

Nedanderthal: Hey!

Nedanderthal: There was nothing wrong with that name!

Itsyagirlsatan: Yes there was

Itsyagirlsatan: There was a lot wrong with it actually

Nedanderthal: Well sucks to be u because I’VE GOT THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE AHHHHH

Itsyagirlsatan: What God?

Nedanderthal: I don’t know, Thor?

Scarletbitch: what about our lord and savour KEANU REEVES?!?!

Birdyboi: Am I just old or can anyone understand what they’re staying?

Scarletbitch: ur old

Scarletbitch: v. old

Spiderboi: Guys I let Steve get away

Memelord420: Excuse me?

Scarletbitch: u did WHAT?

Spiderboi: I’M SORRY

Memelord420: Well what are u waiting for?

Spiderboi: ?

Memelord420: RUN AFTER HIM U IDIOT

Spiderboi: OK OK I’M GOING

Itsyagirlsatan: Oh fuck we just got here

Birdyboi: IT’S NOT MY FAULT I GOT PULLED OVER FOR SPEEDING OK MISSY?

Scarletbitch: that’s actually entirely ur fault

Itsyagirlsatan: Also can I just point out he straight uo  
LET HIM GO just because HE’S HALKEYE

Itsyagirlsatan: THAT’S DISGRACEFUL

Itsyagirlsatan: This is just proof our society is an  
oligarchy not a democracy

Nedanderthal: #Im14AndThisIsDeep

Itsyagirlsatan: stfu Ned

Spiderboi: Hey I see them!

Rabbit: ?

Spiderboi: Natasha and Steve!

Memelord420: Wait have u been here the entire time?

Rabbit: YES

Rabbit: WHY DOES EVERYONE FORGET ABOUT ME

Scarletbitch: u never say anything?

Rabbit: oh ya makes sense

Spiderboi: Aww he just gave her flowers

Scarletbitch: What kind?

Spiderboi: I don’t know

Spiderboi: Their pink?

Memelord420: Great wow Pete thx for the info

Spiderboi: Wait he just kissed her on the cheek

Scarletbitch: OMFG MY SHIP IS SAILING

Memelord420: I’M GOING TO FUCKING DIE

Birdyboi: NAT’S GETTING DIIICK

Nedanderthal: OMG AM I PART OF THE AVENGERS?  
Itsyagirlsatan: Okayyy...

Spiderboi: Aww wait no

Spiderboi: They’re leaving 😢

Scarletbitch: FOLLOW THEM FOOL!!!

Spiderboi: BITCH I GOT U!

Spiderboi: I’M SO INVESTED IN THIS IT LITERALLY HURTS

Memelord420: UPDATES?!?!?

Rabbit: why are u so invested in this?

Scarletbitch: SHUT UP ROCKET

Birdyboi: NATASHA DESERVES GOOD THINGS OK?

Memelord420: UpDaTeS?!?!!?!?

Spiderboi: They’re just walking and talking

Spiderboi: Wait Nat’s laughing

Birdyboi: WhAt?!?!?

Scarletbitch: i don’t think I’ve ever seen her laugh

Scarletbitch: like at anything

Scarletbitch: like we were watching friends and she didn’t laugh once

Spiderboi: They’re going into a restaurant

Spiderboi: Italian btw

Memelord420: Can u still see them

Spiderboi: Yeet

Spiderboi: They’re in a booth near the window

Itsyagirlsatan: Guys u do know this is stalking right?

Memelord420: Yes?

Scarletbitch: so?

Scarletbitch: i’ve had like 17

Memelord420: Shit I’ve only had 16 

Birdyboi: Well boo-hoi sucks to be u because I’ve got u both beaten

Birdyboi: I’ve had 23

Scarletbitch: ur too old

Scarletbitch: u don’t count

Birdyboi: smh ageism

Spiderboi: SHUT UP

Spiderboi: THEY’RE LOOKING INTO EACH OTHER’S EYES

Spiderboi: THEY’RE EYE FUCKING LADIES AND GENTS

Nedanderthal: Peter I thought u were against this?

Nedanderthal: Just saying...

Spiderboi: WHAT CAN I SAY I LOVE LOVE NEDDY

Memelord420: Mmmm drink that Kool-Ade Peter

Spiderboi: IT TASTES SO SWEET

Scarletbitch: DAMN STRAIGHT

Itsyagirlsatan: Are they all gone insane or?

Scarletbitch: yes

Scarletbitch: join us

Birdyboi: Join us

Memelord420: jOiN uS

Spiderboi: JOIN US

Nedanderthail: OK!!!

Itsyagirlsatan: God ur such a pushover

Nedanderthail: Yee yee

Spiderboi: WAIT

Spiderboi: THEY’RE LEANING IN

Spiderboi: I CAN’T BREATHE

Memelord420: OMG IT’S HAPPENING

Scarletbitch: HOOK IT TO MY VEINS

Birdyboi: MY👏GIRL👏MY👏GIRL👏MY👏GIRL

Spiderboi: Wait no

Memelord420: What Peter what?

Spiderboi: They’re pulling away...

Scarletbitch: WHAT THE FUCK?

Memelord420: NOOOOOO

Spiderboi: Holy shit

Memelord420: WHAT?!?!

Spiderboi: She’s looking out the window...

Scarletbitch: What?

Spiderboi: She’s grinning out the window...

Spiderboi: Guys I think she’s looking at me...

Birdyboi: Holy shit Peter run

Spiderboi: OMG SHE’S WAVING AT ME

Birdyboi: RUN RUN LOST BOI FUCKING LEG IT

Spiderboi: Doing so immediatly

BlackWidowBaby has joined the chat

Scarletbitch: oh fuck

BlackWidowBaby: Hi everyone!

BlackWidowBaby: Who’s here?

BlackWidowBaby: Anyone?

Birdyboi: Hey Nat...

Spiderboi: I’m soooo sorry Nat I never meant to do this I swear I’m so sorry please don’t kill me

Itsyagirlsatan: I’m MJ

Itsyagirlsatan: Nedanderthail is Ned Leeds btw

Nedanderthail: God dammit MJ!!!

Memelord420: Heyyyy.....

Memelord420: Soooo.....

Memelord420: Funny story...

Rabbit: it’s not very funny actually

Rabbit: oh fuck does she know that i’m here

Scarletbitch: yup

Rabbit: shit

BlackWidowBaby: Well

BlackWidowBaby: Now that your all here.

BlackWidowBaby: ...

BlackWidowBaby: Thank you

BlackWidowBaby has left the chat

Birdyboi: Well...

Memelord420: Ok

Spiderboi: That just happened

Memelord420: Well I think we all know what this means

Spiderboi: ?

Birdyboi: ??

Itsyagirlsatan: ???

Nedanderthail: ????

Rabbit: ?????

Scarletbitch: yes I do

Memelord420: OUR SHIP HAS SAILED LADIES!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Quick notes:  
> 1\. Big thank you to Isi1dur for sugesting the name Nedanderthail!  
> 2\. Since I'm a procrastonator I wrote 4 chapters in advance, so next one's up Thursday  
> 3\. One of the new things I'm planning to do is a "Feild Trip To SI". Should I post it in this fic or a seprate one? Thoughts?

**Author's Note:**

> Any story ideas/suggestions leave them in the comments! Feedback and kudos are much appreciated! :)


End file.
